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31 Of The Most Memorable Quotes From Clueless

On July 19, we celebrate the 25th anniversary of Clueless, a movie that is the be-all and end-all of everything we hold dear. (To put it plainly.)

To commemorate the film that breathed new life into Jane Austen’s Emma, we’ve rounded up the cult classic's totally important quotes in the (selfish) hopes of bringing them back into circulation. (As if they ever left.) After all, nothing says “don’t even” like a well-placed “as if!” (It sounds a lot better, too.) And we all know that Coolio’s “Rollin’ With the Homies” is one of 1995’s most underrated and treasured musical gems.

Happy birthday, Clueless. You’re a total Betty.

This story has been updated.

Cher: "Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good."

This was probably the first piece of flirting advice any 90s kid ever got, therefore it's a line that pretty much all of us have engraved into our skulls.
Amber: "She could be a farmer in those clothes."

Not to encourage the act of judging another woman's outfit choices, but it's hard to deny the power of a great one-liner. Let's let Amber have at least one moment, okay?
Cher: "Ugh, as if!"

Few cinematic moments are more satisfying than watching 15-year-old Cher Horowitz respond to unwanted male attention by physically pushing said male out of the frame, then delivering the two powerful, monosyllabic words that defined a decade.

And the angels wept.
Cher: “I don’t get it. Did my hair get flat? Did I stumble into some bad lighting? What’s wrong with me?”

Cher: She’s just like us. After dreamboat Christian puts an abrupt end to their movie date, Cher’s left confused and rattled. Fortunately, she learns the truth when Murray tells her that Christian’s gay, thus saving her self-esteem. But those few minutes of intense insecurity? Friend, we’ve all been there.
Dionne: “Hello, that was a stop sign.”
Cher: “I totally paused!”

In which young, irresponsible drivers of the world are delivered a credo.
Cher: “Everything I think and everything I do is wrong.”

Leave it to Cher to distill the exact sentiments of realizing you’ve been in love with somebody the whole time.
Cher: “Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.”

What Cher didn’t know in 1995 was that the same rule also applies to college, the workplace, and sometimes even the Internet. (Although for the record, I think Pauly Shore taught us a lot in Encino Man.)Photo: Courtesy of Paramount Pictures.
Tai: “Rollin’ with the homies.”

From Coolio, with love. May couples far better suited than Elton and Tai unite at Val parties, bond over minor concussions, and sing songs with catchy choruses.
Tai: “You’re a virgin who can’t drive.”

In response to Cher’s assertion that Tai and Josh would never work, Tai delivers the cruelest insult one teen — nay, one human — can say to another. That was way harsh, Tai.
Cher: “I’m not a prude, I’m just highly selective.”

Behold! A Tinder strategy if there ever was one.
Cher: “Would you call me selfish?”
Dionne: “No, not to your face.”

A best friend will tell you the truth. A real best friend will tell you the truth...about not telling you the truth.
Cher: “Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.”

What Cher didn’t know in 1995 was that the same rule also applies to college, the workplace, and sometimes even the internet. (Although for the record, Pauly Shore actually taught us a lot in Encino Man.)
Cher: “Old people can be so sweet.”

Take solace in knowing that if Cher and Dionne saw us now, they’d describe us as old, too.
Dionne: “I do not wear polyester hair, okay? Unlike some people I know, like Shawana.”

Bronson Alcott High’s First Couple are a consistent reminder that bickering conquers everything — including unapproved head-shaving, unanswered pages, and unintentional trips on the freeway.
Cher: “She’s my friend because we both know what it’s like to have people be jealous of us.”

The official motto of best friends, everywhere.
Amber: “Whatever.”

Arguably the only way to ever win an argument.
Amber: “My plastic surgeon doesn’t want me doing any activity where balls are flying at my nose.”
Dionne: “Well, there goes your social life.”

And so the origins of “Ya burnt!” came to be.
Cher: "Oh my god, I am totally buggin'."

For those of us who’ve ever unknowingly fallen for someone whose sexual orientation makes true love impossible, “totally buggin’” is the official term of the process of shock, denial, and acceptance following the discovery.
Tai: “If I’m too good for him, then how come I’m not with him?”

While we know that Tai is too good for Elton, she does pose a valid question that anyone who's experienced a broken heart can totally relate to.
Dionne: “Besides, the PC term is ‘hymenally challenged.’”

Best friends: defending each other’s right not to have sex since 1995.
Tai: “And my buns: They don’t feel nothin' like steel.”

We have Tai to thank for delivering the only sentiment that can truthfully be applied to exercise.
Dionne: “Murray, I have asked you repeatedly not to call me ‘woman.’”

Whether they're discussing sexism or street slang's feminist undertones, Dionne and Murray's flare for debate stands as a beacon of hope to couples everywhere. (And if you’re reading this, dudes: Just be more like Murray.)Photo: Courtesy of Paramount Pictures.
Cher: “I had an overwhelming sense of ickiness.”

Another truism about what falling in love really feels like.Photo: Courtesy of Paramount Pictures.
Cher (to Amber): “Do you prefer ‘fashion victim’ or ‘ensemble-y challenged?’”

Before Mean Girls’ Regina George coined the veiled insult, “I love your skirt,” back in 2004, Cher threw down its precursor: a less sneaky, albeit equally hurtful way of questioning someone's fashion sense.
Cher (to Tai about Amber): “She’s a full-on Monet. It’s like a painting, see? From far away, it’s okay. But up close, it’s a big old mess.”

And for some of us, this is as close to art school as we’ll ever get. (Well this, and Jack Dawson’s Monet crash course in Titanic. RIP.)
Cher: “Dionne and I were both named after great singers of the past who now do infomercials.”

Twenty years later, and all the Chers and Dionnes who’ve been born since are named after great movie characters of the past who are just as great now.Photo: Courtesy of Paramount Pictures.
Cher: “Let’s do a makeover!”

Because when somebody with a high-tech, closet-based computer program suggests a makeover, you listen.
Cher: “May I please remind you that it does not say ‘RSVP’ on the Statue of Liberty.”

And may we please remind you that if Cher was 15 in 1995, she’d be 35 now and old enough to run for president of the United States.
Cher: “I like this boy, and he likes somebody else.”
Mel: “Well, obviously this boy is a complete moron.”

Clueless: a movie about friendship, finding one’s self, and most importantly, perfect parenting.
Mel: “What the hell is that?”
Cher: “A dress.”
Mel: “Says who?”
Cher: “Calvin Klein.”

Among many things, the '90s delivered a fresh and minimalist approach to fashion and style that’s carried on well into the 2010s. Fortunately, Clueless armed us with more than enough ways to justify our aesthetic choices to parents and naysayers alike. (Because, hello: Nothing comes between us and our Calvins.)
Cher: “You see how picky I am about my shoes, and those only go on my feet.”

And in a few short seconds some two decades back, Cher gave us the ultimate response to anyone’s question about why we haven’t gotten married and/or coupled up yet.
Cher: “That was way harsh, Tai.”

If you recall, it was. And Tai deserved to know it.
Cher: “He does dress better than I do. What would I bring to the relationship?”

Perhaps one of the best aspects of Clueless is the movie’s unblinking acceptance of Christian’s homosexuality. After Cher briefly mourns the loss of what she thought would be a perfect boyfriend, she moves on and makes him a friend — simple as that.

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31 Of The Most Memorable Quotes From Clueless 31 Of The Most Memorable Quotes From Clueless Reviewed by streakoggi on June 18, 2020 Rating: 5

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